Three weeks

In about one hour, it will be the 3 week mark from Jake's accident. It is wild to comprehend all that has changed in 21 days. Let me try to wrap my head around it. What has changed?

Jake: everything. Three weeks ago he was strong, fit, able. Nothing more than an occasional sore neck if he slept wrong, but in great shape for a 40 year old guy. He spent two full weeks in the Neuro Trauma ICU at North Memorial, being fully intubated for two days, and with a tracheostomy placed. He last spoke going into surgery at 12:30 am on Wednesday, Sept. 10 - until just this week on Wednesday, Sept. 24. Two full weeks without having the chance to speak, being alone in his own thoughts, listening to the rest of us all process this, listening to his providers care for him, listening to me cry standing next to his bed, listening, listening, listening. Jake's incomplete spinal injury at the C5 means he now is a quadriplegic ASIA B: sensory incomplete. He has sensory but not motor function past his biceps/nipple line of chest. Breathing from diaphragm, triceps, wrists, hands, torso, legs, feet, bladder, bowel - it is all impacted by the spinal cord injury. We are praying miracles of healing over all those areas of his body.

Me: everything. My plans for my life, my agenda, my professional goals, my fitness and health, my priorities, my address, my family. All these things and more were changed for Jake too. I was two weeks into a new job that I had prepared for over four months, working (without compensation) to prepare for a new program at the college. I made it two weeks into the semester, handed over everything I created and worked on, and closed my laptop. There is a lot to grieve in all of this. 

Our kids: everything. They have spent 3 weeks without their parents. I have seen them twice since Jake's accident. Once when I came home for one overnight, and then for a weekend so I could be home to pack up our vehicle. We have used FaceTime to stay somewhat connected, but it is not the same. We need each other. They will arrive in two days to Denver and our family will be together to move forward. 

My faith: I have trusted in Jesus for my salvation for 20 years, but I have never fully trusted, like fully trusted until now. I always held some reserve of my own grit and power to not need to fully rely on God in all things. My faith has deepened these past weeks. I finally feel like maybe I am experiencing what Jake did each morning when I saw him in his quiet time, sitting in the silence in prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to lead him each day, studying his bible, praying for others, fasting, giving generously - truly believing. Jake had been modeling this for me for years, now I am following his lead.